Awe-Love

Face all glowing,
Heartbeat slowing,
Eyes are soft with wonderment.
Uncontrollable smile,
Lingers a long while,
Light dizzying when the darkness went.

Can't comprehend
Love with no end
Unconditional, it will always forgive.
Reach out trembling hand
Grasping solid, not sand.
Perhaps now my broken heart can live.

Rap Rhythm

I wrote this one at work today while reading 2 Corinthians (thank you, Bethy. ;)) when three of the words jumped out at me. I already had a rap rhythm that I couldn't remember where from (but turns out to be Toby Mac) playing in my head, so...here. :P

The last two lines after the four verses are more sung and go a bit one into the other, the line before last said softly, then the last bit rappy again. :P

If anyone's in Christ, he's a new creation,
No more lost in condemnation
Headed for the wrath of God's damnation -
By the grace of God.

For Christ, since the world's foundation,
Became the Rock of our salvation
And undertook the reconciliation
Of mankind to God.

He bore the cross with no deliberation
From God endured sin's separation,
Life triumphed at the resurrection
And crushed eternal death.

Sin had chained us in frustration,
Lost and blind to our affliction,
So God became our liberation -
In God alone we stand.

So thank You, God, for all the love You have bestowed on us!
Thank You, Jesus, for Your unconditional love and mercy.

I am Yours.

To bring Light and liberty to every nation!


~Jane Johnson

Heavenly Hunger

How my heart hungers for the distant shore,
The day when faith is faith no more.
How my eyes strain and stream with tears
And look despairing, full of fears
And how my hands reach out for what they lack
There's no way forward and no way back.

As the body collapses and strain pulls taut,
It's easier to let go - who would have thought
That there could be such joy in looking to die?
Only guilt for the sorrow of those left behind.
But faced with a choice of an earthly tomorrow -
Oh God, please forgive my terrible sorrow!

I long for a husband and family home,
For small children to call his and my own.
I long for a future to reach out to others,
To bring love and healing to so many who suffer.
I want all the wrong things I've done to come right,
To help others out of the darkness to Light.

But far more at rest and peace in my soul
Is the hope that remains, cannot be cajoled
Into changing to the dream; can it be true?
Am I dying and so getting nearer to You?
As body collapses, dearest things grow away,
That Heaven is closer, I cannot but pray.

The rest and the joy and the light that it brings,
To think I'll soon sit at the feet of my King.
The past fade to nothing, the wrong all come right.
The veil torn asunder, and faith will be sight.
A poor feeble servant with nothing to give...
Just let me sit there and my soul - it will live.

Worth the Wait?

"Worth the Wait" by 33 Miles,
Playing clearly in my head.
Even as it starts to end,
And the final words are said.
Through the voice saying "Hold on"
Another whispers, "Is it worth the wait?"
A path more easy lies before,
And it holds wide the gate.

Bypath Meadow's always easy,
And grass is greener on the other side,
And the softer path's at hand to travel.
Can the steadfast voice have lied?
Can it ever be worth the wait?
Is it enough to keep believing?
Is God's timing never late?
Will He my cries be always receiving?

Trying to walk a double path,
The split will split yourself in two.
Following God or the easy way,
What you know - or know naught but God's Truth?
The heart is sore and overcharged
About to split itself with grief.
He came to share our burdens...
To lift up the fallen and weak.

Blindly clinging to His Hand,
The promise He's given is true.
Praying He'll help me out of the mess,
And start once more anew.
Focused on the path that's hard
And stony, all rugged, uphill.
Not blinded by the green bypath,
Only hearing His "Peace, be still."

"Be still, and know that I am God.
Trust, I will bring to pass.
Faithful I am to My promises,
Keep going, none of this will last.
I'm testing you through the Refiner's fire,
To make you in My image each day.
Don't give up and follow the easier road,
You'll miss all the blessings along the way."

So I sigh and resigned, I open my eyes,
And look around, waiting to hear.
And once more, "It's Worth the Wait"
Starts sounding in my ears.
Suddenly I'm aware I can go on no more,
I'm done and my strength is all through.
But there's something inside that won't give up -
It's Him - He's breaking through.

I want to give up, for an easier path,
But the hardcore of God won't give in.
Crucify self to the cross of His love,
And purging our flesh of the sin.
Shaping us, changing us, through each mortal step,
Though there's terrible pain on the way,
Through each of the choices we make in our lives,
"Oh Lord, You know. Have Your own way."


Right now I want to give up so badly. Give up and go the easier road. But just as I let go and tell God, I can't do it any more, I realise there's something else that isn't letting go - as before. Over, and over. It's the Hand of God, holding me to the promise I made. Changing me through it and in it and because of it over and over. And suddenly, I'm aware of His presence. And I know I'm carrying on - because I can't. But He can.

Day of Praise

Awaking with the morning sun,
Praise God for the day begun.
Absorb it, get a sunshiny face,
And praise Him for His mercy and grace.

Come before Him in prayer and praise,
Worship Him, awed and amazed.
Look for His mercies through the day,
Glorify Him in every way.

All you do, give glory to Him,
Whether your day is bright or dim.
No matter what you're going through,
God can use it to change you.

Attitude determines good or bad,
Even though the road is happy or sad.
Joy can be found through looking to Him -
Your blessings can be seen in EVERYTHING!

So praise your Maker, bless His Name!
Praise, extol and tell His fame.
Share of His mercies, truth and Light,
And thank Him as you sleep at night.

The Past's Future

As my eyes clear from the veil of tears,
And I look forward into the misty years,
Forcibly fading my memory
I gaze on the clouds of time and see
Dark shapes of shadows from my past
Dance grotesquely on the future's mask.
With horror, I stop and realise
Each past decision has shaped my life.

So many mistakes I can never put right,
So many choices that lead me to the night.
So many friends once so dear, and now gone,
So many heartbreaks instead of having none.
So many errors I cannot erase,
Dance on the future's mist as I gaze.

I shudder and shrink from taking each step,
As shadows surround me I'll never forget.
Try as I might each figure to delete,
Their ghastly fingers reach out, driving me to my feet.
Depart, oh past, and begone and forget
That ever I knew the shapes I beget.

I reach out blindly the Lord's Hand to take
As I step forward in the future I make.
The Light reflects eerily in the inky mist,
I struggle to see God's Hand is in this.
As relentlessly onwards we go,
The shadows of the past surround me from below.

I feel the ground shaky under my feet
As our paths part, never again to meet.
I stare blankly ahead as my life falls apart
Wonder how to heal and again to start.
My gaze focuses on the clouds; with horror,
I realise this choice will be forever tomorrow.

Hearts can bleed like this and survive - it is true.
I've watched it and done it; you know, so can you.
So keep on trusting Jesus, don't give in to despair;
You know He will hear your every prayer.
Yes, He can come in and heal your heart,
He'll ease the pain without removing the scar.

Keep on going, your choices for life in the past,
God can use for good in tomorrow, though they last
Forever and the scars won't go away,
But the pain will heal someday.
Keep your eyes on the Light, don't look at the clouds -
Move your gaze and your past will be your death's shroud.

How Can You Love?

I look at my sin,
My guilt and my crime.
I look at Your glory
And wonderful shine.
I look at the purity
Radiate from Your face,
I see all Your mercy,
Wonder at Your grace.

I look at my dirt,
The shame and the fear,
I look at you and wish
You weren't quite so near.
You shine with reflected
Glory from above,
You radiate kindness
And infinite love.

I look at you and
The God that you serve,
I marvel at the wonder
Of love undeserved.
I look back at myself
To with wonder behold,
Cleansed with Christ's blood,
I'm shining as gold.

I Wonder

One has to wonder
How much you can miss
Someone so much,
Then confronted with this -
A silent conundrum
Nobody can solve.
A gap without bridge
But friendship undissolved.

In silence we listen,
We wait, watch and talk.
And I sit there wistful,
Watching like a hawk.
So utterly different
As mortals can be.
What on earth made us friends?
Why stay you with me?

Pained joy to see
Your presence is here.
Pain you're so far,
And joy you're so near.
There's no way I can draw
Us close; it can't be.
Feeling sickened, I pray
We don't drift out at sea.

I know there's an Author
Who holds the pen
Of life in His Hand,
Who knows why and when.
I know there's a Pilot
Of ships in roaring waves -
I know I've a God
Who is mighty to save!

So teach me to trust
In obedience and fear,
But of Who Thou art,
And not of Thou near.
Make my understanding
Accept all Thy will.
Help me love Thee always
In good and in ill.

Alone, But Not Alone

Alone, but not alone.
Even while my heart is aching,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
Even though the storm is breaking,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
While my tears are falling,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
In the dark, I hear You calling.
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
My eyes weep tears of blood.
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
You wrap me in Your love.
I will trust in You.

Oh God, I'm all alone,
But in You, I'm not alone.
Help me to trust in You.

Beautiful Girls

Smashing face on the bars,
Wishing it would scar.
Everything she hates
Especially on this date.

Features flat and plain,
She scratches them again.
Eyes so small and squinted,
Even when they're tinted.

Nose so fat and snub,
Figure like a blob.
Fingers small and stunted,
Chin too short and blunted.

The world passes her by,
With a scornful eye.
She shrinks beneath their gaze,
Scorched by their blaze.

Chasing the popular girls,
Trampling the pearls.
They never stop to see,
The worth in you and me.

Dragged in by their allure,
We follow, insecure.
Trying to become
"Attractive" for the fun.

We often fail to view
Heartbreaks of girls wooed,
For something that will fade,
And join the discarded cascade.

Stopping after a while,
We're now part of the pile.
A playtoy thrown away,
Unwanted after a day.

Just you look and see,
Never part of them were we.
God loves us as we are.
Plain, ugly, smashed apart.

King's daughters, Christ within.
Following the world is sin.
Keep your hearts on Christ and see
The mirror of you and me.

From the Heights to the Depths to Grace - Part One

She stood there,
Listening to everything they said.
The doubts they cast on
Everything she'd fought for the past two years.

In a matter of hours,
The emotional purity had gone, along
With the desire for physical.
They said it didn't matter that he wasn't saved.

She was weak,
She gave in because she wanted
To love him and she never
Realised the power of the emotions she was loosing.

Five months later
Saw a girl who was smashed.
She only thought that
She was having an innocent flirtation.

She gave away
The heart she should have kept
For the man God had
In store for her to give her heart to someday.

Emotions destroyed,
Self worth completely gone.
If only she was beautiful,
She believed she could've kept him from leaving.

She cried,
Day after day and night upon night.
She gave it to God,
And took it back, time and time again.

She never noticed,
That true love was there all the time.
Love that loved her,
Loved her just the way she was - crushed and bleeding.

She never thought
She was of any worth again,
So she pushed it away,
But it wouldn't leave her in her brokenness.

God held out
His offer of love still and pardon.
And He put people around
To love and hold her and tell her - He isn't done
With her yet.

Dawning Hope

I have some strange old feelings
That tangled up, sent me reeling.
Under a new blow that I didn't foresee -
But now I know He's holding me.

Chorus:

And He whispers, Peace, be still.
When you're living in My Will,
You have nothing to fear,
My Arms are holding you near.

Though the clouds will come to shake me,
I know that they won't break me.
Cause He's put my feet on the Rock -
Himself; to me He holds the lock.

I'm guarded safe in His Hand.
No matter what dreams tumble down.
I can't believe He's let me hope -
If I were alone, I couldn't cope.

Sudden rainbows in the flood
Sunshine reflects in pools of mud.
Wild joy, unbelieving fear
Hope and doubt fight fierce in here.

And no matter what the outcome is,
I know He holds my hand in His.
He will direct your path and mine,
And give us joy in love divine.

It's Like A Dream

It’s like a dream.
I stand open mouthed, watching myself
In awestruck horror. How can I stoop
To letting them use me this way again?

It’s like a dream.
Part of me retreats into myself.
What excuse can I have this time
To explain what has gone on?

It’s like a dream.
A reality dream to crush a dream,
Not believing that the dream I want
Most to live won’t die.

It’s like a dream.
Allowing them to laugh and jeer
To look me over like an object
Treating me as no more than a harlot.

It’s like a dream.
A repeated nightmare ever living
Why am I allowing the name of God
In His daughter to be defamed?

It’s like a dream.
To save His name I deny Him.
How much more traitorous and
A worthless wretch can I be?

It’s like a dream.
I know He can forgive me
And I know He still loves me,
But I don’t feel worthy of it.

It’s like a dream.
Shaking with fear, I think
Of the man I love whom also
I have betrayed by allowing this.

It’s like a dream.
I fear his response,
I fear his kindness, love and pity.
I am afraid of him.

It’s like a dream.
I did this to hurt myself
So badly that I would cease dreaming
Because I fear that dream won’t live.

It’s like a dream.
I can’t believe this is me
That is doing this action replay.
Gutter rat, crawling back.

It’s like a dream.
A horrid nightmare.
I daren’t embrace the other
And maybe that’s why.

It’s like a dream.
And I’m going to turn
My back on it and reach
Out for the one I want to live.

It’s like a dream.
And one I will try to forget
And pray to God that someday
I can live my true dream.

It’s like a dream.
And if so, it will end.

First Kiss

Do you know how easy it is to destroy every defence you built up for emotional purity? For two years after God delivered me from a foolish attachment I had got deeply emotionally involved with, I fought a battle for emotional purity. For over a year, I also fought a battle with a growing attraction to a young non-Christian cadet sergeant at my Squadron.

In October 2009, I learned that he was going to leave the Squadron. Suddenly. It had a shell-shock effect, because his father - our commanding officer - had been backbitten out, and it was a horrible mess. The six of us working to uphold the Squadron had become a very close knit bunch.

I spent a day with my uncle and aunt. They saw I was depressed and asked why. I told them. Then they attacked the entire principles I had founded my emotional purity on. They said there was nothing wrong with being boyfriend and girlfriend, nor with moderate kissing. I fought back - but weakly. And by the end of the day, I had caved in and admitted to myself and them that I loved him - not admitted, but let go of the barrier to let the floodtide of emotion loose.

You see - where in the Bible DOES it have clear cut guidelines? Where in the Bible DOES it say that you can't kiss a guy? All I could find were the lines on impurity and immoral behaviour - and a ban on sleeping around outside of marriage. In the next few days I wrote my first poem that is on this site - Searching For Answers.

Now, I am starting to see that there doesn't need to be definitive lines. Yes, I judged it as the laws of the Pharisees - law on law on law to protect the original law. But there are no laws. It is a matter of choice. And we have to choose to keep those boundaries up to support the heart of the matter.

Perhaps the difference becomes when it's forced and no longer a labour of love. Then it becomes Pharisaical.

Debating the other day with someone about saving your first kiss til you're at the altar, it suddenly struck me how precious the thing really is; following, I wrote this poem.


First Kiss

When you touch your lips to mine,
Thoughts will cease, and so will time.
I'll be lost in the wonder of your love;
Precious gift from God above.
I'll love you more than words can say,
When you kiss me on our wedding day.

All the wonder of Love Divine,
Is weakly reflected in yours and mine.
United together we shall be
To love and serve Him faithfully.
A blessing that seals, He has given us this -
Our first physical union at the altar - a kiss.

~I~Love~You~

This may well sound very cheesy, but. :P I wrote it on a whim, and I like it, and OYAN likes it, so I share it. :P


They say I don't know how to love.
Maybe they're right and it's true.
I only know that I'd leave behind
My lifestyle and people for you.

You came into my life and I really can't say
How exactly you came to be,
The sub-king of my heart and the love of my soul,
But the master you are of me.

I never owned lord or master before
Or ever brooked reign o'er my heart.
You came and silently took over control,
All that I've needed, thou art.

It's funny the only thing I want from life
Is only your wife now to be.
To bear, raise your children with you by my side,
To pay back all that you've been to me.

The simplest and most used words I can say
Have been used and abused much before.
I love you from the depth of my heart,
I love you right in from the core.

Baby Dear

From your cradle comes a choked wail,
And I hurry to your side.
Hanging over your cradle, I murmur
Soothing sounds and hushing noises.
Mommy wakes and sleepily asks
If she should rock you, or whether I will.
I reject her proposal and bend down,
Scooping you into my arms.

The only thing I hate about rocking you
Is that you will scream incessantly down my ear.
And it leaves an unmusical ringing
For quite a while afterwards.
But when you are quiet and only
Making those wheezing breaths as you
Recover from your violent screams,
I look down on you and marvel.

Those tiny fingers that waved so frantically,
Grabbing fistfuls of my shirt to hold me;
Or else, they wave around in the air
Until they randomly lay hold of my fingers,
And then they curl tightly round them
Dragging mine with yours on their wandering way.
Those tiny hands, so small against mine.
Those incredible perfect fingers.

I love the feel of your velvet skin
When you lay your cheek against my neck.
I love the softness of your hair
When you burrow your head under my chin.
I love the way your body snuggles
As if it were made to fit against mine.
I love how you curl up in my arms
Totally vulnerable, helpless - and unconcerned.

There's only two thing I hate
About holding you strongly in my arms.
You arouse feelings in my body and heart
That I never knew were there.
And you make me love you, you helpless darling
With every passionate protective chord in me.
When you turn your head, seeking nourishment
I cannot provide; how I hate that I cannot do it.

Even though I'm not your mother;
I'm only your auntie who dearly loves you.
But, Ayanna, I would gladly do
Anything I could that would help you.
Little princess, my heart lies captive
In your baby embrace and your wandering eyes.
I can barely wait for the day when
I hold you in my arms, and you know me.

Ending Love

Heart breaking beneath my smile,
I wonder why you took a while
To realise I was in love.

Then when you saw, you turned away.
It wasn't possible today,
You can't return my love.

The deepest inner pain you cause
Without thought, cause the strong force
Ensures I'm snared in love.

You've gone away without goodbye,
I thought you wouldn't leave my side.
And now I start to kill,
To aim the knife with broken soul,
And stab down to kill, to kill my love.

Jane Johnson
17-12-10

*inspired by a friend's romance

Need

Disclaimer: The emotion is taken from my past, with a view into other people's lives; I have none that this is from or for.


As the earth needs the sun,
As the tides need the moon.
As the young plants need the rain,
So my heart needs you, beloved.

As the wind smashes the sail of my boat,
As the roaring waves crush my frail bark,
Your steadfastness pulls beside me.
There for me to lean on.

As I aim to a Heavenly goal,
As I flounder in the rush of life.
Your quiet stability is there
To turn my heart back to its vision.

I lean on Christ the Rock -
Yours is the hand to guide me;
To fasten my hand to the rope
To pull me out of the crashing waves.

As the winter comes every season,
As the frost coats the trees with ice,
As the ferns are laced with delicate beauty,
So I am to you, beloved.

I refuse to admit my need of you.
I will not let you come close to me.
I push away the hand holding mine to the Rock,
For fear that you are not there.

As the shadows dance and vanish,
As the vapour condenses,
As the wind whistles and is gone,
You are a wraith that will vanish.

Can you love me through the pain?
I constantly try to be rid of you.
Your hand still reaches out
Can you reach in and touch my heart?

As the flower reaches for the light,
As the earthling stretches for Heaven,
So my frail earthenware vessel
Turns to you for support.

Like a leech on warm flesh,
Like claws latched in a death grip,
So I call for you and refuse
To let go, and yet I push you away.

Like the sun, constant and warming,
Like the rain, refreshing and new,
Like your Saviour, ever loving,
So you gently love me still

Why don't you turn from me?
Why does your love stay constant?
How can you care for me so tenderly
Healing my broken heart with your touch?

Is it possible that somehow
Beneath my conflicting self
You manage to see my damaged self
And sense how much I need you?

Oh, beloved. I do need you.

Struggle

An empty shell, a hollow ball;
Inside, defiant, I stand tall.
Putting on a facade to fool, to seem -
I'm starting to recognise a greater need.

It grows larger with each passing day,
As I grow sicker of my own way.
I turn bewildered from hand to hand,
Wondering who to fight and where to stand.

I pick up the Bible, bemusement increase,
I see Christ must control, as to be I must cease.
Yet in several corners, raging battles go on -
Though it's already decided Christ the Victor has won.

I want to trust, but my fear is too great.
Can my heart squeeze through that narrow gate?
I want to give in, to surrender complete,
But the pain that will come pulls me back on my feet.

Why do we fight and refuse to draw near?
Why open our hearts to adversaries like fear?
Why allow pain to cause an oozing sore
Instead of trusting God through wounds so raw?

"Surely He can see!" our hearts cry.
"The last person to take any more must be I!
I can't cope with the fear, the pain and the stress -
Where are the promises of peace and to bless?"

It is only when we crumple in heaps of despair
That we realise He's standing in wait of a prayer.
At our faint full surrender to let Him take control,
He waits til we're nothing to heal our souls.

~ Jane, 18/11/10

A Passionate Prayer

Lord, grant that I may be
A conduit; empty of self completely.
Take everything of myself away;
Fill me with You in Your entirety.

Pour Your Spirit upon me
Within me; fill me - fill me!
Teach me of Thyself, Thy glory and purity.
Lose me within the blessed radiance of Your presence.

Fix my heart and mind on You - guard them,
Enable me to do it! Teach me
And lead me in Thy ways. Bring me
To the point where I reflect only Your blazing purity.

Burn me with Your passion.
Cleanse me of my vile impurities.
Make me willing to put You - You Alone!
First in my heart and life above these wretched idols.

Lord, if only the better part of me -
The part which You have cleansed
And in which You dwell and control -
Would forever sway the entirety of my life!

I have run my life
Downhill, into failure, disappointment,
Dark gloom, deep despair.
Lord, take over the complete control!

If only my feeble tongue could express
The passionate longing of my heart
To be possessed by Thy Holy Spirit,
To follow You in the path of Your calling.

Gone is the desire for 'my' calling.
It is as dry dust in my mouth.
Any calling is a gift from Thee -
Never, never mine. For I am Yours, and the gift is Yours.

Lord, remove these idols from my heart
Which place the burdens, gifts,
Friends, passions, visions,
Before spending time revelling in Thy Word and Presence.

Take away my bitterness,
Hatred, arrogance, deep resentment, painful heart.
None of these reflect You, my Father.
I cannot dwell in the Light of Your Presence with them.

I am powerless to change myself.
I gave myself just as I am to You.
Only You can make me something.
Only You can burn the poisoned wound and make me in Your image.

Teach me how to love
With Your love; not the world's.
Teach me to love the unlovely.
Help me to love far beyond myself and for no motive but Thine.

I tried to change so often, but everytime,
I would climb four steps and fall back, ever deeper.
I thought I had to reach the acceptable level
Of sin, before You would reach to touch me.

Why could I not see that You only
Reach out to the vilest of the vile?
To the lowest of the low, to those who no longer
Have any hope, any faith, any love, anywhere to turn?

You humbled me, brought me to the knowledge
Of where I was when You brought me
Face to face with the lowest point of my highest standard.
A boyfriend for the queen of purity.

You showed me that where others had fallen
I could also go. I wept and hated myself
For I was not what I was - I had fallen.
I forgot to seek Your face, and had adopted false humility.

You brought a long lost friend
Back into my life. He showed me
That I needed not to change myself,
For that was impossible. I needed to love.

To love? How? I questioned over and over.
I could not understand. I still cannot.
I prayed for God to teach me how to love.
Not with my love, but with His love.

He brought people into my life
Who were going through almost exactly what
I had just passed through. The darkness,
The hatred, the despair, the poison, the influence.

I pitied, I wept, I identified. But
Not as myself. But as He. For He loves them.
And because of this, He enabled me to see them
Through His eyes. And I could also see me.

As dust, dirt and ashes. Vile, repugnant, intractable.
He sees the miniscule specks He created
But He pities our weakness, remembers we are dust...
And He loves us still, waiting for us to come - as we are.

I could not change myself. They cannot,
And they cannot see that God only wants the muck.
Until we are worthless, crawling heaps, and we
See ourselves as we are - He cannot use us at all.

In striving after Christ, Lord, never
Never let me be confident in self
Pretending that is of Thee. Let me always
Remember my weakness, constantly fleeing to Thy side.

Teach me how to show those whom Thou hast given to me,
With their vulnerable trust and their aching hearts,
Teach them Thy love. Ah Lord, I cannot still understand
How You brought me out. But teach them, that they might also return.

Help me to be open and honest with them,
To be cruel, yet kind, where they need a surgeon.
Give me the wisdom that is Thine to speak what I should.
Grant me the grace to be loving and patient.

Open my heart and mind to the knowledge
And experience and understanding of Your love.
Help me to see Thy pattern and to set
My own as mentor, mother, sister, supporter after Thine own.

Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.
Crush my pride of individuality, and
Possess me completely, to the point that no one
Can see me at all. Ever. But only Thy glory in me.

Make me willing to die to self, that
This crumbling monument to grace may
Be completely willing to kill its tiny individuality
To identify with the few and bear the weight of reflecting Thyself.

Lord, I do not just wish to reflect You
I want to be possessed of You that the world may know
That You are in me. That I am in You.
Explode Your love throughout my being, that I may love as You have loved me.

Lord, my words are feeble, and my fingers stumble
As I write these words. This impassioned plea.
I long to be dead to myself, the world, and sin.
Lord, use me as a feeble monument to Thy glory
That I may, in however tiny a way, be simply a pointer to Christ.