First Kiss

Do you know how easy it is to destroy every defence you built up for emotional purity? For two years after God delivered me from a foolish attachment I had got deeply emotionally involved with, I fought a battle for emotional purity. For over a year, I also fought a battle with a growing attraction to a young non-Christian cadet sergeant at my Squadron.

In October 2009, I learned that he was going to leave the Squadron. Suddenly. It had a shell-shock effect, because his father - our commanding officer - had been backbitten out, and it was a horrible mess. The six of us working to uphold the Squadron had become a very close knit bunch.

I spent a day with my uncle and aunt. They saw I was depressed and asked why. I told them. Then they attacked the entire principles I had founded my emotional purity on. They said there was nothing wrong with being boyfriend and girlfriend, nor with moderate kissing. I fought back - but weakly. And by the end of the day, I had caved in and admitted to myself and them that I loved him - not admitted, but let go of the barrier to let the floodtide of emotion loose.

You see - where in the Bible DOES it have clear cut guidelines? Where in the Bible DOES it say that you can't kiss a guy? All I could find were the lines on impurity and immoral behaviour - and a ban on sleeping around outside of marriage. In the next few days I wrote my first poem that is on this site - Searching For Answers.

Now, I am starting to see that there doesn't need to be definitive lines. Yes, I judged it as the laws of the Pharisees - law on law on law to protect the original law. But there are no laws. It is a matter of choice. And we have to choose to keep those boundaries up to support the heart of the matter.

Perhaps the difference becomes when it's forced and no longer a labour of love. Then it becomes Pharisaical.

Debating the other day with someone about saving your first kiss til you're at the altar, it suddenly struck me how precious the thing really is; following, I wrote this poem.


First Kiss

When you touch your lips to mine,
Thoughts will cease, and so will time.
I'll be lost in the wonder of your love;
Precious gift from God above.
I'll love you more than words can say,
When you kiss me on our wedding day.

All the wonder of Love Divine,
Is weakly reflected in yours and mine.
United together we shall be
To love and serve Him faithfully.
A blessing that seals, He has given us this -
Our first physical union at the altar - a kiss.