Broken Life

When you're sitting on the ground and ashes are falling round,
You look up, blinking against the light, and wonder at the sound
For in the soft and crumbly snowing grey is the sound of music
And your choice is to take it in, or wrap up and refuse it...

It's hard to explain, in the emptiness of life's dreams,
Sitting, staring at the walls, so stark and bare and clean;
The colour's gone and they are empty; torn shreds hanging on the nails...
You wonder how the smile begins and sit to write the tale...

For it's a broken life, full of so many smashed up things,
A father, brother, lover gone; how can you find the hope to sing?
The question is not why, you see, but how these things can be.
I know the why - that's because of God, Who always has been holding me.

Surrounded by the prayers of many, lifted on the wings of faith,
I raise my voice in song and find the strength to smile again.
The miracle of the overcomer is somehow in my soul,
And deep within my heart I know that God will someday make me whole.

For it's a broken life, full of so many smashed up things.
But each day there's God, Who always a new hope can bring.
It's where your eyes are fixed, what your ears hear that count...
Can your eyes see only ashes, or can you hear the song that calls the dance?

Dumb Stuff

I don't know why I must always be
Or find you close, right next to me.
I do not know the reason why
As far as I go, this unbroken tie
Keeps bringing me home to you.

I don't understand why I'm like ivy
Closely bound around a tree.
And every time the tree goes away
Half of me's empty and I can only pray
That I'll come home to you.

The skies are grey; rain's falling fast.
And hope is in my heart at last
That God has been good and heard my tears
Through the agony of these years.
And I'll come home to you.

Hear this live as it was written.

Too Dirty to Love

I wonder why you can't love me.
I guess it's cause I'm dirty.
I guess it's cause I'm so broken
I can't be lovable.
Other guys love me
And they fight over me
And would each give their right hand
To have what you're running from.
They tell me to forget you
To forget each other.

My profession should be whore.
And keeping truth back is my trade.
I'm so dirty and so broken.
I guess that's why you can't love me.
I wish you would protect me.
By only asking me to wait.
But you won't cause it messes with your life.
And now you've left me.

I guess it was my fault all along.
Physical and emotional disconnected
And I'm leaving broken hearts
In the trail of my own stormy life.
I beg God for a protector
And He gave my heart to you
But not yours to me.
I guess that's my fault.
I'm too dirty and too broken
For you to love.

At least Christ found me
Something worth loving.

A Man and His Woman

So I was thinking about the bonds that hold a Christian marriage together... :P In specifics, in relation to this poem, what a woman means to a man.
Guys feel free to correct me. ;)


A man needs a playmate.
A man needs a friend.
A man needs a lover
Who will love to life's end.
He needs someone weak
To help him be strong,
That looks to him for guidance
And support all life long.

Her heart is so fragile
He shields it with love.
A choice that he's choosing;
God's gift from above.
Her choice to respect him
Though she wants her own way,
Make sacrificial living
Love's choice every day.

Her weakness his reason
To try and be strong;
Her trust is unchanging
Even when he goes wrong.
Together they point
Each other to Christ;
The foundation of love
For the rest of their lives.

SMASHED

Love is full of emptiness.
Life is naught but pain.
Tears turn to sighing til
The tears come again.
Great rough hacking sobs
Uncontrollable
A heart bleeding and breaking
And it's unstoppable.

A love given and fought for,
Two years of history.
Betrayed and cleansed, forgiven -
A painful memory.
She said she'd never regret it
The hardest path she chose
And now the path is ended
The thornbush and no rose.

They think, now the tie is broke
The heart drops to the nearest hand.
Confident and eager
Painting pictures grand.
I chose the hardest path
Years of screams and sobs and tears
Of nightmares, dreams and loneliness,
Falling midst my fears.

I've seen a love I will ne'er possess
I've seen God's heart here.
This the only thing that stops
Regret of treading there.
My heart is his, my love is his
I can't turn so free away.
This is not a child's whim.
I'm a woman - this is no play.

I scream my sobs and anguish
And quote Scripture til I'm blue.
Reminding God of Job
Quoting Psalm 22.
I stop and silence falls
No whispers explaining why.
There's naught but sorrow in my heart
And darkness in the sky.

For there's no tomorrow
There's no joy to come.
The path of pain is wasted
No love's labours won.
Why must I always love
Where I can never be loved?
Why must those always love me
Who can never be beloved?

I keep thinking it must be ending
Nothing else could hurt me now.
What a laugh - the thing most precious
Is gone and I don't know how.
My heart's smashed down in pieces -
Please leave my love alone.
This is bitterness, not triumph.
It is not some dog's bone.

So I sit in silence
Make a new girl from the old.
Someone else must rise to take
Her place; one strong and bold.
Three years now in reversal.
Feminism takes my hand.
Men, begone and leave me.
God and me - this is my stand.


~Sian Grey

Unconditional

It doesn't matter what you've done.
Or how many battles you've lost.
I only care for the battles you've won;
The lines you haven't crossed.

I'll be there when you stumble and fall
And love you through the hurt you cause.
No matter what you've been or done,
I promise this will end - not pause.

Every day is a new beginning;
You'll be tired but don't stop starting again.
This fight is one that you'll be winning,
One day God will end this pain.

Pain is a tool to help us grow,
If you choose to let it work
To expand your soul, not bring you low.
To use it, not to let it lurk.

It doesn't matter where you've been.
It doesn't matter what you've done.
Christ on the cross it all has seen,
And gave His life so everyday
A new chance for you is begun.

"She that hath been forgiven much, loveth much."