I Wonder

One has to wonder
How much you can miss
Someone so much,
Then confronted with this -
A silent conundrum
Nobody can solve.
A gap without bridge
But friendship undissolved.

In silence we listen,
We wait, watch and talk.
And I sit there wistful,
Watching like a hawk.
So utterly different
As mortals can be.
What on earth made us friends?
Why stay you with me?

Pained joy to see
Your presence is here.
Pain you're so far,
And joy you're so near.
There's no way I can draw
Us close; it can't be.
Feeling sickened, I pray
We don't drift out at sea.

I know there's an Author
Who holds the pen
Of life in His Hand,
Who knows why and when.
I know there's a Pilot
Of ships in roaring waves -
I know I've a God
Who is mighty to save!

So teach me to trust
In obedience and fear,
But of Who Thou art,
And not of Thou near.
Make my understanding
Accept all Thy will.
Help me love Thee always
In good and in ill.

I~Miss~You

Do you miss me? I miss you
And look into the sky bright blue,
Watch the clouds wisping above,
And wonder if you know I love.

Do you miss me? In my heart
I wonder if you feel apart;
Whether the longing in your soul
Wishes we were together and whole.

Do you miss me? A silent sigh
Escapes my lips and rises high.
God keep you safe, and may I soon
Know if you miss me; oh, grant this boon!

Written for Kay and Justin.

Half-Hearted Christianity

I'm sick of all this apathy,
In all the people around me;
Playing with money and jewellery,
Not heeding the warning and Word.

Look to see the Spirit's fire within,
Instead the candle flickers dim;
Frightened of the unknown burning that's Him:
Not heeding the warning and Word.

Tired of the half hearted worship given,
Wonder what it looks like to God in Heaven.
To fill the lack of fire, serving off emotion,
Not heeding the warning and Word.

The flame of God begins to burn,
As I am caused by His Spirit to turn.
Fire of God, cause us to discern
And hear the warning and Word.

God Who is Spirit and power and fire,
Cause my whole being to burn with desire
To serve Thee completely and step ever higher;
Heeding Your warnings, worship in truth,
Baptised with fire and hearing Your Word.

Jane Johnson,
26/2/11

Alone, But Not Alone

Alone, but not alone.
Even while my heart is aching,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
Even though the storm is breaking,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
While my tears are falling,
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
In the dark, I hear You calling.
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
My eyes weep tears of blood.
I will trust in You.

Alone, but not alone.
You wrap me in Your love.
I will trust in You.

Oh God, I'm all alone,
But in You, I'm not alone.
Help me to trust in You.

Beautiful Girls

Smashing face on the bars,
Wishing it would scar.
Everything she hates
Especially on this date.

Features flat and plain,
She scratches them again.
Eyes so small and squinted,
Even when they're tinted.

Nose so fat and snub,
Figure like a blob.
Fingers small and stunted,
Chin too short and blunted.

The world passes her by,
With a scornful eye.
She shrinks beneath their gaze,
Scorched by their blaze.

Chasing the popular girls,
Trampling the pearls.
They never stop to see,
The worth in you and me.

Dragged in by their allure,
We follow, insecure.
Trying to become
"Attractive" for the fun.

We often fail to view
Heartbreaks of girls wooed,
For something that will fade,
And join the discarded cascade.

Stopping after a while,
We're now part of the pile.
A playtoy thrown away,
Unwanted after a day.

Just you look and see,
Never part of them were we.
God loves us as we are.
Plain, ugly, smashed apart.

King's daughters, Christ within.
Following the world is sin.
Keep your hearts on Christ and see
The mirror of you and me.

From the Heights to the Depths to Grace - Part One

She stood there,
Listening to everything they said.
The doubts they cast on
Everything she'd fought for the past two years.

In a matter of hours,
The emotional purity had gone, along
With the desire for physical.
They said it didn't matter that he wasn't saved.

She was weak,
She gave in because she wanted
To love him and she never
Realised the power of the emotions she was loosing.

Five months later
Saw a girl who was smashed.
She only thought that
She was having an innocent flirtation.

She gave away
The heart she should have kept
For the man God had
In store for her to give her heart to someday.

Emotions destroyed,
Self worth completely gone.
If only she was beautiful,
She believed she could've kept him from leaving.

She cried,
Day after day and night upon night.
She gave it to God,
And took it back, time and time again.

She never noticed,
That true love was there all the time.
Love that loved her,
Loved her just the way she was - crushed and bleeding.

She never thought
She was of any worth again,
So she pushed it away,
But it wouldn't leave her in her brokenness.

God held out
His offer of love still and pardon.
And He put people around
To love and hold her and tell her - He isn't done
With her yet.