Masquerade

It is marvellous to see
I can still pretend so perfectly!
Making new friends and laughing again
Hiding away my heart of pain.
Offering encouragement and words to bless,
Showing them strength and happiness;
Who can guess what lies beneath?
The scars and wounds and ugly grief?
My pillow is no longer wet at night,
As I start out on my brand new life.

I pull those near who lean on me,
And push away those who my mask see.
I live a life that I pretend,
Giving life, love, joy right to the end.
I turn my heart to search for God,
And wonder why my soul feels odd.
It's like it's gone and withered away,
I wonder if it will come back today.
For hiding the pain of the past for tomorrow,
Has made me shy from too many sorrows.

I've made them promises I can't keep -
Alone without God holding me on my feet.
I've promised to be there, not to leave them alone,
As long as God permits, to share their groans.
How long can I withhold myself
And reach their hearts while keeping mine on a shelf?
To love and withhold, to support and not be,
To stand there a lie for someone else to see.
I share your joys and tears and pain;
But don't push me to share my heart again.

For it's quite funny, how easily
People believe the mask that they see.
They want to believe that you're faithful and true
But can't see the sorrows that pulled you through.
We need people to lean on but deny the power
That makes you run to them in your lonely hour.
So vulnerable, hurt so visibly
So tender and confused as you turn to me.
I reach out gently to hold your hand...
But withhold myself as I start to stand.