Heavenly Hunger

How my heart hungers for the distant shore,
The day when faith is faith no more.
How my eyes strain and stream with tears
And look despairing, full of fears
And how my hands reach out for what they lack
There's no way forward and no way back.

As the body collapses and strain pulls taut,
It's easier to let go - who would have thought
That there could be such joy in looking to die?
Only guilt for the sorrow of those left behind.
But faced with a choice of an earthly tomorrow -
Oh God, please forgive my terrible sorrow!

I long for a husband and family home,
For small children to call his and my own.
I long for a future to reach out to others,
To bring love and healing to so many who suffer.
I want all the wrong things I've done to come right,
To help others out of the darkness to Light.

But far more at rest and peace in my soul
Is the hope that remains, cannot be cajoled
Into changing to the dream; can it be true?
Am I dying and so getting nearer to You?
As body collapses, dearest things grow away,
That Heaven is closer, I cannot but pray.

The rest and the joy and the light that it brings,
To think I'll soon sit at the feet of my King.
The past fade to nothing, the wrong all come right.
The veil torn asunder, and faith will be sight.
A poor feeble servant with nothing to give...
Just let me sit there and my soul - it will live.